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About the Word “Should”
The other day I had a big discussion about the usage of the word “should”. Some of you may know that when you are confiding in someone, or someone is confiding in you, the immediate reaction is to give advice! We give advice because this person is in a tough situation, and our human instinct tells us that it’s bad, and that we must fix this situation immediately, because the world would be better without suffering, right? I disagree, but I will share my thoughts on this later.
My first response when someone tells me I “should” act a certain way is, “why?”
The other day, sitting a friends car, I was telling her that I am shy person, which is why I tend to take my time when learning new languages (which I never saw negatively). Her immediate reaction was that I should stop telling myself that I am shy. “Why?” It turns out, that she viewed being shy as something negative, something that causes suffering, that impedes growth, that must be fixed! My response to that was, “shy is wonderful.” Imagine a world where everyone was equally extroverted. A world that was all one colour, with one type of person. Maybe “more efficient” at learning new things, but fewer flavours! I love being shy! I love that other shy people exist! I love that extroverts exist! I embrace all of us!
Another anecdote bring me back to two years ago, when confiding in a friend about the…
